Lyrics

My Uncle Ronnie had prison tattoos
Had a black belt in bullshit – a Ford Cortina in blue
Always got lucky or so he’d have you believe
Gave me my first can of 4X and a fake ID

My Uncle Ronnie did a 5 year stretch
First 2 in Belmarsh and the Scrubs for the rest
Said it was funny – he never really robbed that bank
Had a part in Eastenders, he always spoke a little like Frank

Said you’ve always got to dream big look
This pint of Stella’s half full after all
Even thought you’ve got your name in the phone book
Doesn’t mean anybody’s gonna call

If you don’t ask, if you don’t ask
If you don’t ask for nothing then you get fuck all
If you don’t ask, if you don’t ask
If you don’t ask for nothing then you get fuck all

My Uncle Ronnie could get you tickets for everything
Keep your mouth shut and don’t tell them anything
Was in adult movies, had them on Betamax
Know that he’s gone now, know he’s not coming back

Said you’ve always got to dream big look
This pint of Stella’s half full after all
Even thought you’ve got your name in the phone book
Doesn’t mean anybody’s gonna call

If you don’t ask, if you don’t ask
If you don’t ask for nothing then you get fuck all
If you don’t ask, if you don’t ask
If you don’t ask for nothing then you get fuck all

He had a garage full of shellsuits
That he just couldn’t shift
Called up Rodney Marsh sometimes
To go get pissed
Claimed he’d shacked up with Madonna
1985
Bet he’s smoking Berkley menthols
In the Costa del Sol
In the sky

My Uncle Ronnie got out of his depth
He should have stuck on the market selling bootleg cigarettes
Got into Charlie and running the brown
Got caught out at Tilbury, with his trousers down

If you don’t ask, if you don’t ask
If you don’t ask for nothing then you get fuck all
If you don’t ask, if you don’t ask
If you don’t ask for nothing then you get fuck all